Yesterday was a whirlwind day for me. My son was in an accident that demolished his car. He was on his way to school when his car was hit by a truck which had run a red light.
I got to the scene to see the carcass of what was his car, the engine exposed, standing in the middle of the road, surrounded by cops, flashing lights, and orange cones. He was already in the ambulance off on the side.
Although I had spoken to him on the phone after the accident, and knew he was not badly hurt, the scene rocked my world.
I came face to face with a "too close for comfort" almost reality. What if he had been badly hurt or killed? There was nothing that I could have done to protect him today, and there is nothing I could do to ensure he will be safe in the future.
All of the related emotions swarmed me. Fear and helplessness took a momentary hold. Grief, for something that did not even happen, descended. I could have lost my precious boy.
Eventually, grief gave way to gratitude. I was grateful that he was safe. That nightmare was not mine today. I sat next to him in the ambulance, while they checked his vitals. He was shaken, and he was whole and he was well.
It is so easy to focus on the moments that break our hearts, and bring us face to face with our worst fears. It would be so easy to begin to try to control the uncontrollable. This approach is the anthesis of living, and would steal the joy of being alive.
In my grateful state I "saw" a bigger picture. I saw that goodness and kindness show up first. The angels, perfect strangers, who stopped their cars and ran to help and comfort him. The ones who chose to stay to make statements to the police, when they could have driven off to their day.
I "saw" the police officers, and the EMS team, soften and empathize with me. They see this (and worse) everyday, but in the moment - I had their undivided attention, care and concern.
I felt deep gratitude for "my people", the ones I called at the time when I felt most vulnerable and scared, as my mind played out the alternate, horror scenario, The ones who make me feel safe, and accept my fragile state and my "fall apart". I was not alone.
I was grateful that tomorrow, I would go back to life as usual, with my precious son.
On the transition from caterpillar to butterfly - there is a short period of unsteadiness and vulnerability. This is where you take a breath and steady yourself and get used to your new form. It will feel overwhelming and uncomfortable," this is a part of the process of transition - the pause before you are able to spread your beautiful new wings.
- Sharon MacGregor
Transitions.. that time in between moving from where you were, to where you want to be... can be "overwhelming and uncomfortable" and brings up fears of every kind. It can also be accompanied by moments of "glorifying" the past, where you run through the highlight reel of what you are leaving behind. Because you have no highlights of the future, you have nothing to build confidence in what is yet to come.
What do you do? How do you continue to move forward?
TRUST. Trust in yourself and your ability to persevere. Trust in your ability to take care of yourself and your responsibilities. Trust in your vision for your future. Coming back to how you want to feel (your CDFs), trust that these are relevant.
This will require some honesty about what was not working before -- so you can begin to visualize the UPGRADED view of your future. By doing this, you change your relationship to the past, and you will give yourself something concrete to focus on in the future.
#trustlife This will require some faith that life is working for you. No matter how uncomfortable it is right now, looking back at your life, you will see where things worked out in some magical ways, in ways you could not have even imagined, much less create.
When the butterfly emerges from the cocoon - life is completely different, everything is NEW -- even how she gets around is different. She could cling to her branch, keep her new wings closed, just craving the past... but what a waste that would be.
She simply needs to take a breath, accept that she is new, and life is new, and then slowly orient herself, and start looking at her new options. She can spread her wings and trust that she is ready for what is to come.
If you are also in this that pause in transition, it will be helpful to #knowyour5...
What 5 things worked out in the past in a magical way (without your input)?
What 5 things that were not working in your recent past?
What 5 things you will choose to focus on in this new leg of the journey?
As always -- build a vision board -- to help keep your focus on what you want, and ignite your CDFs.
Are you ready to take flight?
#connection #free #magic #wild #aligned
#trustlife #knowyour5 #goddessing
Its AUGUST, we are in the second half of the year - and some of the goals you set in January are not happening because - you are afraid (of something) and you do not even know it.
Today I read an interesting blog post about how fears are experienced on a daily basis. The writer observes that we cannot stop our triggers [important], but we can recognize when we are triggered and take immediate action to stop the downward spiral. We can do this by walking around, or taking a deep breath, and definitely by questioning the validity or usefulness of your response.
I can tell you that these small actions can be successful over time, you can literally skirt the fear and move on (most times).
I want you to really think about your goals - are they really your goals or are they goals based around where you are safe from your fear? Think about the ones that are sitting there looking sad -- what is actually stopping you from achieving it, or deleting it from the list?
The question, "How do you want to feel?" - is not magic. It is meant to be a guide to getting the things you want from life in a way that feels good all the way through to final achievement.
I know that this is not easy. Sometimes it is easier to ask the question "How do I NOT want to feel?" Even better, "What feelings am I f*cking tired of feeling?
The thing is, our FEARs dictate our lives, and keep us feeling stuck and unsatisfied (hence the unwanted feelings popping up over and over again). Unless we choose to NOT to listen to it.
When we set goals, our fears are automatic restrictions/limitations --- blocking options without our intentional choice.
#findyour5 most potent fears is a major step in Soul-Setting (yes - that is setting goals that set your soul and your life on fire).
Think about this... I mean really think about it. Living a SEXY blissful life, means becoming a badass in your own skin.
Aren't you tired of being bullied by fears you do not even know? Make your list.
We would love to hear what you think, please comment below:
"Nothing in nature blooms all year." #bloom is my word this year, it does not mean I have to be " on" all the time.... it's a natural organic process... no forcing.
I am learning that letting go is a part of the process as well. Constant striving leads to burnout and losing #connection to the #magic of the journey, puts the focus on the end goal instead of "the now". It pulls me out of #alignment with my desires... the accomplishments lose their true value.
Constant striving leads me to impatience, perfectionism, steals my joy. Suddenly I feel trapped, not #free, not #wild but overly calculating and controlling. This kind of constant tension leads to all kinds of pain and distrust.
My core desired feelings are compromised. I have to come back to them and reacquaint myself with what they mean to me and FEEL them. I have had to loosen my grip on HOW things are supposed to go, accept that #blooming isn't constant.
The beginning of the answer is on my yoga mat.. in the form of Yin Yoga. A practice of letting go (no muscle 💪contraction at all). It is not a relaxation practice.... you must find stillness at the edge of your discomfort so the deeper tissues will release. For a get-it-all-done kinda girl like me, the challenging is allowing myself to stay still (for up to 5 minutes).
Honestly, this sounds like what I need to do in every aspect of my life. The precursor to the #bloom.🌸
So what have you learned at this mid-year time?
#howdoyouwanttofeel #shelovesherlife #knowyourwhy #goddessing
Sharon MacGregor is a Certified Holistic Health Coach, Yoga Instructor and licensed Desire Map facilitator. Her own success combating depression, and the symptoms of perimenopause with yoga and nutrition has led a realization that we can make our lives into whatever we want, whenever we want. Her programs are designed to educate women of the myriad of ways build self-confidence and embrace life after 40 with optimism. Her retreats and workshops combine yoga+nutrition+coaching. You can join the conversation on her private Facebook group Upgrade Your Life. You can find out about working with her at www.sharonmacgregor.com.